You Have the Right to Remain Silent...

Anything you say can be used against you...

I was thinking about this phrase today. Not because I am thinking I may be arrested or that I have been arrested.  Nope. I was thinking about how sometimes I need to be careful of what I say to some people.  Some of the most innocent phrases or discussions end up being "used against you."  Do any of you deal with this as well?

You have the right to remain silent...

Choose your words carefully.  I've gotten much quieter as I've aged. I try to think about the words I'm going to say.  Why am I going to say it?  What good will it do?  Will it be a benefit?  Will it have a negative impact?  Since I've never been great at small talk this can be even a little more crippling for me in a group of people.  Of course, I don't always do the best job and something wrong comes on out.  Sometimes I may even say all the best things.  Either way, it is important to remember that anything I say can be used against me.  Do any of you struggle with this as well?

You have the right to remain silent...

But sometimes you have to speak.  Silence can be perceived as agreement.  Depending on the discussion, to be silent speaks more loudly than words.  This can be a real challenge when those around me have an opinion that is different from my own.  I have found through the years that I need to speak God's truth and share my opinions even when they differ from other people's opinions - especially when they differ from other people's opinions! Again, I try to be responsible with my words, speak with love, and be respectful of what people believe.  Even so, I have found that anything can be used against me.  Have any of you dealt with this as well?

You have the right to remain silent...

Then there are times when I want to speak - I want to defend - I want to explain.  I've had people comment on my marriage, on my being a stay at home mom, on wasting my college degree, on where I live, on what I do with my spare time, on my spirituality... this list goes on and on and on.  When this occurs I find myself wanting to defend my decisions, come back with a rally cry of the sacrifices I've made, scream about what I've done with my life and what I hope to do still.  However, when I'm at my best, I just sit back and breathe and pray and try to let it go.  These things are best handled with as much humility as I can muster.  I hope to get support and love from my circle of family and friends.  However, if I don't get that support it is important for me to remember that I wasn't made for this world. When I die, I will have to answer to God for the decisions I've made while on this earth. And although I do the best I can in these situations, I still find that anything I say can be used against me.  Have you ever felt confronted with these situations?

You have the right to remain silent...

There is an art to knowing when to speak, what to say, how much to say, or when to exercise that wonderful right to remain silent.  It is something I will probably struggle with throughout life.  And whether I do everything right or not when it comes to my words, anything I say can be used against me.  Makes me wonder... what do you do to help you determine when to be silent and when to speak?

"A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse one crushes the spirit." 
Proverbs 15:4

A Place in this World

Growing up I was a member of one (1) parish community. Granted, as a Catholic, we are a universal community of believers. One of the things that I love is attending Mass when we are on vacation. We are not at our "home" parish, but we are always at home with our Catholic community in the world. However, within our beautiful, universal Church there are many parishes and you usually call one your home parish. And I belonged to one parish from the time I was born until the time I went away to college.

This church truly felt like home to me. I knew its stained glass windows and would get lost in their beauty. I knew its tabernacle with the beautiful candles hanging above it.  I knew its fabulous crucifix that drew me into times of great contemplation. I knew the people who I went to school with and the people I worshiped with. I knew its warmth. It was a beautiful, quiet, inviting place. When I was there, I always felt that I was at home. Often, even in my youth, I would go there by myself, immerse myself in the cool darkness of the building and just be, just be with myself and with God. It was a wonderful and welcoming place in this world for me.

When my husband and I moved to our current city 15 years ago we were looking for longevity. We searched for a home that would grow with our growing family. We sought out a great school district.  We looked for a place in this world where we could plant ourselves and, hopefully, allow our roots to grow deep and strong.

Since living here, my family has been members of three different churches and now we will be looking for our fourth. The little parish we currently belong to is in the process of being clustered with another parish and will close in the near future. Where do we belong? Where is our place in this world?

Each time we have moved I find myself feeling a little lost. This is not what I had hoped for my family when we moved. I wanted my children to grow up and feel that sense of belonging, feel that sense of home within one parish community. I wanted to feel that for myself as well. However, that wasn't the path that God had in mind for us apparently.

As I mentioned earlier, the Catholic Church is a universal church.  God is there.  Jesus is there.  The Mass is the Mass.  I am so grateful for that. I know that and realize that my family can be members at any Catholic parish and we will be home.

There is something very special, dare I say sacred, about the people and community within a parish.  We are called a parish family.  And each parish community, like a family, has a different way of being together and engaging one another. We come together.  We pray.  We worship.  We sing.  We laugh.  We cry.  It is a beautiful thing to see the connections within a parish family.  A thriving parish is like a stained glass window with the sunlight pouring through it.  The beauty engages your mind and eye as you look at the images and colors and then emanates far beyond the window itself and you see colors dancing on the walls and pews and floor. That is the people in a parish, we make up that window and it is our individual colors that come together to make such a beautiful image of our faith.

Each parish has taught me something about myself, my faith, my family, our God.  At each church I have met some wonderful and engaging people and made some dear friends.  Each church has opened my eyes to different things about my faith - what we believe as Catholics and why we believe it.  Although I have had these beautiful lessons there have been some difficult ones as well.  Through it all, I still find myself struggling to find that place in this world where we can just be, just be as I was in my childhood parish.

Throughout our lives God will prune us in order to get rid of what is dead and to help us to thrive and bear more fruit.  It can be a painful process. It is not one that I particularly enjoy.  However, it is a necessary one to grow and flourish.

Generally, I don't just jump right into new situations.  Because of this, each parish change has been difficult as I have had to slowly immerse myself in a new community, try to find my place in a new family.  So many times in life I find myself struggling to discover where I fit. This is another one of those times. Where do I belong?  Where is my place in this world? I'm not sure yet where we will be, but I trust that we will end up right where He wants us for this time in our lives.


"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, on your own intelligence rely not; in all your ways be mindful of him, and he will make straight your paths."  Proverbs 3:5-6

Michael W. Smith - A Place in this World:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpXMnY_t03M