I wish I spent more time with her.
I'm part of the funeral ministry at my parish. When a loved one passes away, the family can have someone from the parish come to the funeral home and lead a rosary or scripture service. When my mom passed away, it was a comfort to hand that over to someone else. We wanted to pray together. We needed to pray together. But none of us wanted to lead the prayers. It wasn't long after that when the Holy Spirit nudged me. I volunteered to help others during this part of their grieving.
I wish I spent more time with her.
There is a time during the service when people can share stories about their loved ones. Occasionally, no one will speak. Usually, a few people will share their broken hearts. On a rare occasion, many will come up and share memories that elicit both laughter and tears.
I wish I spent more time with her.
The last service I led, so many people spoke. This family laughed together. Loved together. Sang together. They shared memories of special moments around the bonfires at their grandma's nearly every time they visited. This woman was loved. She made her family feel loved. How do I know? They said it. So many spoke about how special she made them feel. How she always heard them; how she truly listened to and cared about what was on their hearts.
I wish I spent more time with her.
A grandson spoke. He was the first to speak. Late 20s. Married. His sharing focused on fire. How fire would always remind him of his grandma. The bonfires they sat around so often with her and the love he felt around them. Her interest in his life. Her joy. How glad he was to be at the bonfire at her house the day before she passed away. The last thing he said before sitting down was, "I wish I spent more time with her."
I wish I spent more time with her.
I wish I spent more time with her.
I wish I spent more time with her.
What are we waiting for? Our lives are so busy. We have so many things vying for our time. They are so important, aren't they?
I wish I spent more time with her.
I'm reminded of my mom. She cared. Her connection and interest in the lives of those whom she loved was palpable and rather rare in so many relationships today. I thought I spent enough time with her when she was alive, but when she was no long longer here I wanted more. Why did I squander my time with her? Am I squandering my time with you?
I wish I spent more time with her.
What are we waiting for? Our lives are so busy. We have so many things vying for our time. They are so important, aren't they? Or are they?
I wish I spent more time with her.
This funeral prayer service changed me. I drove home with that young man's words echoing in my soul. I don't want to ever feel that way, although I daresay that I probably will. However, I will make a conscious effort to live and love differently.
The people in our lives are a gift. They are gifts. Do they know that? Do they feel that?
I want to live my life in a way that I don't say "I wish I spent more time with..."
I wonder what life would be like if we all lived that way.
