i try to write
i want to write
but echoes in my mind
are satan's words
that began sometime
I think so often about subjects and thoughts and ideas I want to write about. Then something...someone holds me back. It's me. I know that ultimately it is me. Yet, I feel Satan at the forefront and I need to be stronger to hold that nasty fallen angel back.
Back in 1999 I began sending out weekly musings. They were meant to be thoughtful, reflective, and, hopefully, inspirational messages. Sometimes they were merely a quote that touched my heart. Sometimes they were a reflection on my week followed by a quotation that I found inspiring.
After some time, it came to my attention that some people dear to me were getting together each week to tear apart what I had written -- my thoughts, my dreams, my heart. I shared my week and what inspired me in the hopes that it, by God's grace, would inspire someone else only to discover that some were using that to laugh at me, poke fun at me. Who did I think I was?
I wrote less and less often and by January of 2003 my sporadic writing came to a halt. I allowed Satan's prodding to work its way into my mind and bring me to a standstill.
I certainly didn't think I had the corner on being inspired by a simple life. I take great inspiration from others who are trying to live humbly and share their journey - highs, lows, and in-betweens - with others. I tried to do the same. To be completely honest, I fall short of this goal each and every day. However, I continue to lift myself up and try. Yet there is one area that I continue to fall short. Writing.
I don't believe that my thoughts, experiences, or words hold any kind of wisdom or wonder for people. However, I've always felt drawn to share what I'm thinking, how I see God working in my days, the wonder and beauty in the moments I usually let slip by thinking that they are not worthy of my attention.
So, here I am challenging myself to push through. Push through Satan's lies. Some, for whatever reason, may not appreciate my words and thoughts. That is OK. I need to trust in what the Lord wants me to do and not what others, and what Satan, wants me to believe.
And my own struggles made me wonder about your struggles. What holds you back? Why does it hold you back? How can you change that?
It can be so difficult to put your heart and soul out into the world. Where do you feel that push out of your comfort zone? How does God want you to stretch? What, if anything, is holding you back?
I began this blog late in 2011. How often have I written? Not nearly as often as I think of something. Satan's lies continue to ring in my mind. His nasty message echoes back and forth making me question what I think, what I love.
We can't let Satan win. He chips away at us. He wants to plant doubt and confusion. It is easy for him. Often times he begins with something small - so very small. He plants that doubt, he makes you aware of the nastiness, and then lets that ferment. It comes to life and holds us back.
Let's all take some time to pray. Let's take some time to discern the places in our lives where Satan is telling us untruths and God is quietly waiting for us to hear His truth. 1 Peter 4:8 says, "Discipline yourselves, keep alert. Like a roaring lion your adversary the devil prowls around, looking for someone to devour."
I know that one - one of many - of Satan's lies is to push me away from writing. What is Satan telling YOU untruths about? Let's work together. Let's lift one another up. God wants great things for us. -- "For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the , plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope." (Jeremiah 29:11)
Who are we going to listen to? Who is going to win?